Eestlased

(Rasvases kirjas punktid, mis kehtivad ka minu puhul)

1. You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok.

2. When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate.

3. You attended a song festival at least once either as a performer or as a spectator.

4. You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing

5. You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company)

6. ‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu

7. You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people

8. You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child

9. You are convinced that Estonia is very strategically located

10. You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands

11. You can quote films like “Viimne reliikvia” and “Siin me oleme”

12. You spit three times around your left shoulder for good luck

13. Words like “veoauto”, “täieõiguslik” or “jää-äär” sound perfectly pronouncable to you

14. You like bold statements, such as this one…

15. There can never be too much sarcasm

16. You can at times drink hot tea to hot food

17. You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature

18. It would not be suprising for English-speakers to find your name

naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain)

19. You have been to Finland

20. You say ‘Noh’ (sounds like NO) even when you speak English, just to confuse people

21. You know the lyrics to “Mutionu” and “Rongisõit”

22. You would never mistaken Kreisiraadio for a radio station

23. You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning)

24. Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter

and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with

your advisor, who is friends with your… [umbes nii, mitte sõna-sõnalt]

25. You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic

26. You check the thermometer before going out

27. You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it’s a one-way street

28. You grin very mysteriously when people ask about your national food

29. You teach a non-Estonian speaker the word “Tänan” before “Aitäh”

30. You put ketchup inside your pasta (french-cooked gourmet faire la

fine manger pasta) in order to not to get the ketchup-bowl dirty

31. You cheated on your wife/husband at least ten times but you still think you’re in a good marriage.

32. When someone asks you “where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s located in Northern Europe close to Finland…

33. Your grandmother’s “purse” is an old plastic bag that has been reused several times

34. Sour cream tastes good with everything

35. A foreigner speaks to you in broken horrible Estonian and you go on

and on about how wonderful their Estonian is compared to “the Russians’”

36. You have ever worn or seen anyone wear “karupüksid”

37. You have heard the phrase “Estonians are slow” at least once

38. Kui sa saad aru, mis siia kirjutatud on

39. You find yourself continually ignoring the gender in other languages

40. You say ‘kurat’ as at least every second word

41. You consider running to the shop at 19.50 on Friday evening to buy some booze, a sport

42. You are a true Estonian when you come from Tallinn, because if you

are from Tallinn you think Tallinn IS Estonia and that’s true of course

that Tallinn is Estonia

43. When someone says “Estonians are so beautiful” you answer almost without emotions “I know”

44. You have tried to explain people that “kauboi” is actually a word in Estonian

45. You don’t think that terviSEKS is a funny word

46. You don’t find the Estonian equivalent to the expressions “twelve months”, “1002? and “12 buses” remotely funny

47. Even though you never met Toots, Teele and Kiir you know exact what they are like

48. You grin when someone you know says that they bought a BMW

49. You know how to end the sentence “Kui Arno isaga koolimajja jõudis…”

38/49-st. Üpriski eestlane, või mis?